This post is about 2 weeks into the making so it may sound more like old news.
I had been to Scott & Sarah's Moho party on 12/31, that time I was way nervous, almost didn't go in but it was a good experience meeting a few fellow Mohos and realizing it was ok. Out of my anxiety I believe I met a couple of the guys I had been emailing with, but didn't even realize it and I'm sure this made me look like a complete airhead. All in all it was a good experience, but I had not been able to make it back until June due to one thing or another
What the saying "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans"
Finally the stars aligned and I was able to return to meet the Mohos in June. I met a few new faces and saw some known ones. I felt much more comfortable and even stuck around longer than last time. As I observed (I'm a huge people watcher) interactions between people I have to admit that I felt a twinge of jealousy--I mean here I am, a middle-aged dad, still married, finally admitting to being gay--while they are mostly young, all very handsome guys; they feel comfortable in their skin, they know who they are and have full, exciting lives ahead of them...yeah I'm aware they also have their own challenges, but still, for a moment there I wished I could go back in time and be 21 again knowing what I know now. But then again, not all is lost for me, I wouldn't have the most wonderful children a father could ever hope to have, so I suppose it is all relative...
Still, what I can say about this experience is that I'm glad that these guys (and the one girl--I won't forget the 1 girl!) are young enough, smart enough and comfortable enough to avoid a lot of the pain and sorrow that I and other Moho's have experienced and feel nothing but admiration for them and I celebrate in their success and offer my support if they should ever need it (just make sure you get off my lawn!!!!--sticking my cane out to them, LOL). But in reality, silly as it sounds, I'm the one taking lessons on life from the young'uns in situations like that and I'm a better man because of it and again, feel grateful for Scott, Sarah and their adorable kids for providing this kind of venue for everyone like this.
Although I haven't yet been to one of the MoHo parties (though I've wanted to and hope to make the next one), I'm one of the lucky young MoHos you mentioned. And you're right--we are (very) lucky to have an understanding of who we are and our entire lives ahead of us (even though it will have its challenges, as you mentioned). And we're lucky because we stand on the shoulders of people like you, Scott, Carol Lynn Pearson, and others who have paved the way for us--thank you.
ReplyDeleteFrank!
ReplyDeleteI was talking to a fellow Moho at lunch today about why the blog posting, why even make dare speak out instead of just quietly sitting back is that if we can help anyone (our own kids, the younger generations) avoid living even 10 minutes of much of the pain/angst we've lived through, a lot has been accomplished. I hope to be able to go to the next party and meet you in person!
hugs, pl