Well my ex this morning asked why have I not done my part of the decree yet (basically remove her name from accounts and such!) I told her I was waiting for the decree. She said the divorce has been finalized since 5/26, it appears I failed to fill out a notification form to the court---and I knew about this how??? Not like I get divorced every 17 years or anything like that!!! So I dropped everything, ran down to the courthouse and picked up a copy for the friendly amount of $14.00, then it hit me like a sucker punch to the gut:
I'M DIVORCED!!!!!!!
I did have a slight crisis, but only for a good hour or two, I already had the emotional breakdown a couple of months ago. This small crisis was more than anything because it took me off guard. I guess I can finish some of the legal stuff before I decide to celebrate....but how does one celebrate such a life event? This is so anti-climatic to be honest. Don't quite know what to make of it. I did want to mark the occasion in some way but can't quite figure out what to do about it now that it is more of an "after the fact"
Any ideas? please be creative, I need a good laugh!!!
I'm very excited for that day to happen for me too! I hope that it will happen in January as a no contest divorce requires at least a year here in Alberta.
ReplyDeleteI've been listening to a radio series this summer called Asunder about divorce. The last episode was about a divorce ceremony that one lady had in reverse of a wedding ceremony. She invited friends, got a lovely dress, and had a cake made - even included vows of divorce. It was her way of emotionally severing the ties.
My divorce (which has nothing to do with MoHos) was also fairly anticlimatic. I didn't do anything to celebrate. (I am a woman divorced from a probably-straight man.)
ReplyDeleteGosh, I have no idea what to say bud. I have never really thought about the moment myself. It kind of freaks me out.
ReplyDelete@Devin, that's kind of what I was thinking about, something really symbolic but now it is kind of ruined for me. Still I'd like to do something to put a definite mark on the milestone. Good luck on yours!!
ReplyDelete@Sophrosyne, yeah I see what you mean about anti-climiatic. There is so much hoopla about a marriage, maybe it is more of a quiet thing because of the 'reversed effect'. Good luck to you as well and thanks for the comment!
@Bror, I suppose until last year I had never thought about it either, until I was faced with the reality. It is one of those "until it happens to you" kind of things. I hope things are going OK for you!
hugs to all,PL
There are some people who are having divorce ceremonies and officiants that do that kind of thing. Is this something you or the ex might be interested in?
ReplyDeleteLet me offer my congratulations as strange as that may seem. They are in order. Individuals and couples have to go through a great deal in the process of terminating their relationship and to leave a relationship with decent communication in place and without your children in a total place of melt down is an accomplishment. As ridiculous and counter intuitive as it may seem, you should be giving your self a pat on the back for a job well done as it seems that your divorce process appears to be one of the successful ones.
I would suggest that you find some way to memorialize the occassion, not in a bitter, angry way, but by doing something affirming for yourself whatever that may be, even if it is only between you, the universe and God.