No, it isn't that kind of a CL posting. I actually posted an ad in the platonic section. Someone in their blog had mentioned having the kind of 'bromance' that helps make life easier. So I wrote that I wanted friends---not the kind with benefits---but friends to do some activities, hang, do things and be able have good experiences.
I had to weed through some of the responses, some wanted to meet me right away, some wanted to get pictures and even though I had explicitly posted not wanting to go in the direction of a hook up, several hinted in that direction...ummmhh, no thanks... Well one never knows what might come out of these things and it has been an interesting experiment. Most of the people who responded by now have actually got bored and faded away but I've been able to make friendships with two guys:
One older than I, has grown children, actually attends his home ward but his social life is not in the church--I met him and he is one of the best persons I've found; sincere but fun, serious yet funny and has a lot of great insights in life and how to approach it. He has invited me to a few events where I've met other people with fascinating lives and has been a great experience.
The other guy is about my age, divorced dad and has a partner. We corresponded back and forth for several weeks until we met in person (met his partner briefly too). Although we had exchanged a lot of good thoughts on email, the minute we met in person we became fast friends. There have only been less than a handful of people in my life that the minute I met them it it felt that we've been life-long friends and this guy fell right into this place. Talking to him is way comfortable, no holds barred, nothing shocks him, nothing makes him uncomfortable and the feeling is very reciprocal. He has been where I am not too long ago so he has literally taken the role of mentor in my life, has seen me cry and has made me laugh in a way that I hadn't laughed in a long time. I've told him that I should have my insurance company pay him for the breakthrough therapy and he even was able to coax me into doing something I had always wanted to do, but never had the guts to try (don't worry it is nothing nasty!):
Karaoke!!
Man... no one had ever accomplished this before, I told his partner that this guy is a keeper! So I was alluding to the fact that the dog hates that I'm not necessarily sitting at my apartment as I did initially and freaking out/wondering how I was going to get through a very difficult time of life. Don't worry the dog still gets plenty of attention...
I've made good online friends through this blog and have met a few fellow Mohos in person who very much helped me take initial steps while I started contemplating coming out, who watched out for me when I went through my separation and check up on me to this day still. I had initially questioned my sanity for posting an ad but if nothing else having met these two fascinating men have opened my eyes in many different ways. So that's probably one of the reasons I haven't posted much--I've been a little busy expanding out of my comfort zone and finding the good friendships and influences that my therapist suggested I get. Not to say that life is bliss now, there are still many daily challenges to face, many things that I've perhaps not even thought about, but having the kind of friends I've been lucky to find makes life easier to deal with.
So I highly recommend that everyone gets one, or two!!! :0)
YAY! Good for you!
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