Hodgepodge

This post is just a collection of current thoughts, nothing in particular earth-shattering so...don't say I didn't warn you:

1. My life is starting to take shape of somewhat of organized chaos, the last year my life was just plain chaos. I think I may be a chaos hoarder--but I can quit anytime I want, ha!! I started my chaos cleaning, some things & people that are not helping my cause have got to go, bye, bye!!

2. About twice a week I get hit by insomnia. I'm trying to pay special attention to what triggers it, what I may do in my day or habits that make it happen. I don't mind if it hits on the weekends, but on weekdays..ugh!! Mom thinks I need happy pills--or as she calls them, natural herb with no chemicals supplements to help me curb it....mom? if they're herb supplements they have chemicals, where do you think all the other pills come from? I've learned that anxiety is not only real, but a total bitch... maybe mom is right, I may need happy pills...

3. I ended up removing the Facebook tag from my blog page, sorry but I started getting all weird kinds of friend requests that freaked me out (not the Moho's, that's OK I got a few of those and they're OK) but when Shanelique Polestar and her friends want to be my friend I wonder what in the world could we possibly have in common to hang out? I already have enough of a hard time maintaining lots of old ward, mission, family and other assorted friendships there, don't need more baggage (see chaos comment above!), but I updated my email address on my profile here so I can be found if you really want to hook up....er I mean connect of course!!

4. Speaking of FB, the next time I get asked by anyone to say hi to my ex, I'm defriending them (even if it is my absend-minded but well-meaning sister: a couple of weeks ago while saying goodbye on the phone--"say hi to the kids and-insert ex's name here"--um, er sis--we're not together anymore, how many times do I have to shock you?) So what if I haven't officially announced it or updated my relationship status; this would be one of those times when I need that grapevine to spread, so why can't people just take care of doing that, you know through normal gossip?

4. I sometimes fear that the closer I get to my son and I celebrate and thank my lucky stars is the equivalent of the more distant I become from my 11 year old daughter. It scares and makes me sad to no end...

6. Spending time with the babe only makes me want to spend more time with him-- can't we just fast-forward to happily ever-after? Yeah I know; nothing in haste, one day at a time, it'll happen someday...blah, blah, blah!! Isn't that the natural order of things? Closeted gay mormon comes out, divorces, finds hunky man that makes him laugh and feel love, they decide to spend all their days in bliss and they ride together into the sunset? I want Devin's life right now... just sayin'

7. I warned you there was nothing worthwile here, don't you wish you had the time you wasted reading here back?