Recently at the farmer's market I ran into a friend (from my young adult days) who I normally see at public events like this. I was there with my kids her most natural question was to ask where was their mom? I told her not with us and moved on to other random conversation. The kids got bored--they usually do that when I run into old friends who start talking about how big they've got, etc, etc and moved on to other stands so I took the opportunity to mention the separation to which she was a bit surprised. I've been trying to make a conscious effort to come clean with people so I came out to her. She immediately gave me a hug and told me how much she loved me and respected me for this.
Great experience. Of course it helps that she is inactive, not married (she has lived with one of her lady mission companions for over 15 years--connect the dots, shall we?)
I recently also reconnected with another friend from the same group who now lives a few hours away. We had been messaging back/forth on email and last night I got a text message; again back/forth for about 15 minutes and I finally asked if I could call, thirty seconds later my phone rings and it is my friend on the line. We spent some time catching up and I felt prompted to come out, again good experience, lots of understanding and love. When I mentioned my journey and how I have arrived to where I am my friend said something that impressed me: "You need to stop referring to this as your problem. There's nothing wrong with you, nothing to fix and you need not apologize for who you are"--wow, I was speechless mainly because when I arrived to this conclusion I knew my life was never going to be same but to hear it from someone else somehow was a refreshing revelation.
Good experiences, good realizations!!
So how come I have only come out to women and not men (other than fellow Moho's of course)?!?!
I can't recall coming out to a male--heck I don't recall coming out to a couple of gay males at work, can't for the life of me bring it up. Perhaps the only ones I remember are my son and my brother, but they probably don't count, there's significant emotional involvement with those two and let's face it their love is unconditional. Seems I have a lot more work to do...
Congrats on coming out to your two friends. I understand how hard it is. Interesting though, lately I have only come out to guy friends, and current or new friends at that, but we all have our ways and means. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat for you, PL! I'm glad these went well for you. It makes me long to be out and gives me hope that when I do so, things will be alright--so thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi Quinn
ReplyDeleteI'm puzled by my realization that I can't make myself come out to males, not even the gay ones at work...can't figure out why...I guess it will be a big breakthrough when I do this.
Hugs,pl
Hello Frank!
ReplyDeleteI've been pleasantly surprised by reactions, hardly really a surprise to them...granted I am not shouing it & have only done it with a few select people but nonetheless is has been positive but no rush, all in good time,
hugs,pl
Just remember its different for everyone, don't feel like you need to compare your self to others, or do something because they do.
ReplyDeleteGood post. You've inspired me to make one of my own.
ReplyDeleteI came out to a friend that played at my wedding last night. She didn't seem surprised and was hoping I would find happiness.
ReplyDeleteController: Way to go! If nothing else these are the types of things that make us think, even if the outcome is to do absolutely nothing.
ReplyDeletehugs,pl
Hey Sean,
ReplyDeleteI think wishing happiness is ultimately the best thing we can wish to ourselves and others, that's a pretty cool thing! I'm glad your experience was positive.
hugs,pl