A Sense of calm and few other thoughts

I haven't really had much to post about. Seems that I get busy with the kids, work, family, friends and everything else I don't know if that is how life is supposed to turn out...I suppose I should be grateful that things aren't crazier!!!

The initial angst and pain seems to be subsiding some, I am finally starting to sleep better at night and the initial shock of finding myself alone and desperate for a reason to go on is not as bad anymore. It must be true that time heals all wounds, of course it is only 2+months, notable differences and progress I suppose. One of the things that has worked for me has to focus on my children--talking to them, texting, being available for them (I've actually walked out of a couple of meetings when they've called, that's OK, I promised I would be there!). I've learned to set limits around my 'guilt spending' I started doing he first couple of weeks and they understand that. I've also focused on keeping healthy and I am now about 20 pounds lighter than I was even 6 months ago. My in-laws keep asking me if I'm eating?? (well of course I'm eating!?! LOL). My diabetes is under control and for the first time since I've known my cholesterol is under 200. Now I am not saying that being married contributed to my being sick...

I don't know if this is what normal is---if anyone out there knows what normal is, would you please let me know or send me a link? :0)

But can't help to wonder if his is the calm before an imploding storm...

More later...

Special Friend

I got a call from one of my sisters last Wednesday night, out of the blue. I usually don't get these kinds of calls unless it is to share news or something similar so I found it odd. This particular sibling is the 2nd to the youngest. You know when you're a teenager with little siblings one of them usually attaches themselves to you and won't let you breathe unless they're there to see it happen? well that was her. Of course with age and families and life we've not kept the same kind of closeness but it isn't hard to pick things up where we left off.

After the general niceties she went on to ask if I was OK? I told her I was. She said that mom had mentioned my separation and she decided to call me to check up on me. So we spent the next 10-20 minutes talking about the separation, the kids, etc. From the conversation I could sense that she didn't know the 'real reason' so I asked her if mom had told her to which she replied no. So I went ahead and came out to her. Her response was very positive and non-judgmental. She voiced her support and best wishes and then she asked:

"Is there a special friend in your life?"<---is that like Mormon code for "Got a boyfriend?"

All I could do was laugh-out-loud and promptly responded NO although I consider many of my friends very special--but probably not in the way my sister was referring. Once we finished our conversation I got thinking will I have a "special friend" in my life down the road? Ever? The thought keeps creeping in my mind as I have gone out to meet other gay persons through activities and see how the young ones are so open in their display of affection --even at the friend level with each other and I'm sure this will make it easier for some of them to actually move their relationships further in a romantic way--and of course the occasional partnered couple. I'm sure in time all things are possible--in time...

So anyway, sorry to sidetrack so badly, that makes parents + 3 siblings that know about me. So far the responses are positive, but still have a ways to go. One of the disadvantages (or advantage, depending on how it can be looked at) is that most of them live out of town, so will work my way down slowly I suppose.