Adventures in waiting...

Did you know that in UT divorcing parents are obligated to take a divorce course ?

The course costs $55 (well the books do anyway--but we didn't even go through them in class, they did reference them briefly but man, that's an expensive set of handouts!) The class I attended was packed, most everyone attended alone, a few people attended with friends and there were even a few divorcing couples who attended together. The message of the classes were:

1. Resolve everything between yourselves before you have to go to a mediator, attorneys and judges, it will save insane amounts of money, time and Judges hate to have to make decisions for families and children so they rule instead and most of the time it isn't what anyone expected or wanted in the first place.
2. Don't use the children as your best friends, messengers, weapons, spies, punishment or retribution against the other parent.
3. Said parent (ex-spouse) is never going to be out of the picture--deal with it--learn to be civil and get along for the children's sake.
4. You (and the ex) will likely be in relationships again within the next 5 years, don't use the new person as an excuse to neglect your kids and if possible procure that they'll be friends with your ex--you'll all be together for lots of family events anyway, so why not just make an effort.

The ex went to take her class last weekend. All certificates are submitted to the courts and now we just sit and wait for the decree to come whenever it does. She made a joke and said to me: "You're almost free!" All I could muster was an indecisive smile and then replied that I really should lighten up and left it at that... however, if it had been me who said: "hey I'm almost free!" all kinds of hell and damnation would have fallen upon me. I guess the more things change the more they stay the same... LOL

Meeting with the mediator today...

We've done most of the legwork, so just about everything is settled, except a couple of small details (namely alimony). We've been back and forth on a few things, but if all works out fine, filing for divorce will take place on Friday.

At which point I might be posting/updating my blog from under the bridge, he, he!!

Oh well if that is what's going to take...

Wish me luck!!

Divorce proceedings under way...

I don't think I'll give a blow-by-blow (he, he...wrong term to use in a gay blog!)account of what's going on, but I can say things like:

1. We agreed to get things going formally
2. I sent my proposal/offer, waiting to hear if there's such thing as a counter-offer
3. I'm scared shitless yet sad, yet hopeful, yet happy, yet relieved at the same time
4. It is time to move on, for better or worse!

Stay tuned...